I keep thinking everyday I wake up things will look a tad brighter...but it doesn't. I have a dark cloud surrounding me, suffocating me, and it won't let me go. I brought out Ryker's things today and listened to his favorite music as I wept. When I'm sad people always ask what's wrong....did they already forget about my son? Am I the only one still holding on to his memory? This new year has been full of tears and anger. I just want my son. He completed me.I never wanted anything else or anyone else. How can God take my world from me when he's already taken so much from me. He was my happiness and no one will understand my love for him because it goes beyond mother/son bond. He completed me. He saved me. I needed him in my life and I have never has such a glow about me..I didn't care if the sperm donor was absent. That didn't matter, I had him. Then in a split moment....he's gone. How can I expect anyone to understand that? In this I feel so alone.
-Becca
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